The Rules of Spam


The Rules Of Spam
Rule #0: Spam is theft.
	Angel's Commentary: Spammers believe it's okay to steal a little bit from each person on the Internet at once.
Rule #1: Spammers lie.
	Russel's Admonition: Always assume that there is a measurable chance that the entity you are dealing with is a spammer. Lexical Contradiction: Spammers will redefine any term in order to disguise their abuse of Internet resources. Sharp's Corollary: Spammers attempt to re-define "spamming" as that which they do not do. Finnell's Corollary: Spammers define "remove" as "validate."
Rule #2: If a spammer seems to be telling the truth, see Rule #1.
	Crissman's Corollary: A spammer, when caught, blames his victims. Moore's Corollary: Spammers' lies are seldom questioned by mainstream media.
Rule #3: Spammers are stupid.
	Krueger's Corollary: Spammer lies are really stupid. Pickett's Commentary: Spammer lies are boring. Russell's Corollary: Never underestimate the stupidity of spammers. Spinosa's Corollary: Spammers assume everybody is more stupid than themselves. Spammer's Standard of Discourse: Threats and intimidation trump facts and logic.
Rule #4: The natural course of a spamming business is to go bankrupt.
Rules-Keeper Shaffer's Refrain: Spammers routinely prove the Rules of Spam are valid.
It has been noted that the Rules of Spam are equally applicable to spam-supporters, spam-tolerant ISPs, and various others who directly or indirectly profit from spam.